well, happy halloween all..., except my anti-usa mates here down under. not that im pro-america or anything(even though i really miss it and am very overdue for a visit, 2 years overdue actually), its just that id really like to celebrate it-would be fun. so, been looking through some communities today and im watching a few of them to see whether or not i will have anything to contribute. images are best though, 'thousand words' and all of that shit. just made a wonderfull coffee. should be doing so many other things today......my studio has been over run with various objects including tools owned by my recent sex friend (big mistake he is-cannot for the life of me get rid of him) as well as shit that i need to transport to storage. had the most intense need to paint the other night too- so what the fuck is wrong with me????? plus i have so much work to do,2 art prize entries and an exhibition... anyway, its only 2 something, still have the afternoon. ill try and post some samples of my work. over and out.

that was easy. its a detail.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: none (oh, probably why i have no energy, fuck im stupid)

sad as, no replys! well i dont blame you all, ive really got not nothing interestingly new or educational to relay to this cyber world. and how can one compete with the extreme amount of other various things that one can can spend time investigating and replying to.

well here is one thought from my mind: if picasso was gay, he would not have had the success that he did for it was his inability to control women that drove him to continually experiment with their form in his paintings and drawings. also (thought # 2), it was georges braque whom picasso met in france during the middle of his career that actually visually coined the birth of cubism-not picasso as it has been formerly documented throughout modern art history.

so, lets see if anyone of you out there has anything to rebute to that. later assholes.

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: radio

good evening fellow lost citizens of the world. as my first entry, i thought that id rewrite my actual diary entry(yes, it was born on paper! shock fucking horror!). this entry was also a first (for a very long time at least). it will let you all know where im at if nothing else. funny thing, just went to choose my current 'mood', and narcissistic wasnt there!! as if most people on here are not that....., shit. by the way, cori, if your out there mate, its me sarra.

sometimes, most times, i am quite sure
that i will always be alone.
why this is im sure i know, i just
dont know it yet. i think it comes
down to standards though.
too high.

the weather today has had the
same sporadic heart beat as
my own.

i despair. the decision, no, the
motivation of the thought to
decide does not exist.

i need a leap of faith, to change.
not just my surroundings, but
everything. my conventions, my
convictions. my whole fucking
reason. problem is, i have no
faith.

i feel the desperation in my
throat. it hides behind my
eyes. people stand beside
me only long enough to
fall away. i dont know why this is.
perhaps my everything is too
much. i dont know.

getting ready to leave? fuck it, im already gone. im just
waiting to....understand.



jesus im a sad and sorry radiohead listener at the moment. nothing a cool loving vodka and a few beautiful cigarettes cant fix though. anyway, enough of this shit... its been real. thanks if you take the time to read this non-educational crap. x